he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
