I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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