So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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