So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
