You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
