what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
