Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Randomize
