Got a toothbrush?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
