Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Randomize