I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i drank out of a bidet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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