ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
