Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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