I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
pop tarts are not kleenex
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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