I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
