Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
