I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
