i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
