woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize