No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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