I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
