why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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