He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
