A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
