i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
