what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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