I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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