yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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