ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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