Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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