On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
