i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize