i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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