Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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