I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
