he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
