I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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