I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
