Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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