highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
