if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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