I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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