I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
