ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
