what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
