I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
