I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
