life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
