it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
