she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
