I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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